Today has been interesting, I haven't posted for about a week, but that's good - because I've nothing to say (about my "favourite" subject...) Basically this last week I've been on my white-blood-cell boosters, the (quite dreadful) cold I got seems to have gone, some residual could-stuff but no big deal. So I've been working a bit from home, and basically feeling altogether better/happier with my lot.
Today, being Friday is bleomycin day, so what should have been 2/3 three hours at Christies. Well firstly, and most importantly, bloods were find and bleo was administered - so result. What I didn't mention last post was that I got myself a week's prescription of sleeping pills. These are/were a means to an end - I have not (other than with the aid of drugs at the last Christies "stop over") slept at all well. And I know why - it's the chemo-drugs, it's my body;s reaction, it's my over adrenilised body and mind. And I know that sleep is very good for you, and given everything that's going on in my body at the moment probably even more important.
I also know that you shouldn't become dependent on things like sleeping pills. Well hey, I know that, and currently they are a means to an end. And also with my week's supply I tried a couple of nights of not using them - to see if "Mr Busy Head" would let me sleep, it didn't so the next night I took one. I like to think I am somewhat of a responsible adult.
Now today, maybe because the Bleo ran late, may be because the consultant didn't hear/was busy, but they didn't sign me up for a second week of sleeping pills. So by the time 15:00 came around and my missus (and me) really need to get back home/to the day job, it became clear that even if/when they did give me a prescription it wasn't going to get fulfilled very soon. So I rang my doctors, got an appointment (16:30) and told the nice Christies people that I'd get my GP to do it - job done, or so I thought.
Got to the GP's on the stroke of half past. Got to see a GP (not mine, one of the locums, I think) and told him that as a means to an end I could do with a 7 day prescription for these sleeping pills. To cut a story short he gave me the prescription. But, and a big but, did I get a lecture on the "evils" of sleeping pills and how there are other ways of helping me (like anit-depressants!!!???!!!) and if I need any more then we really should think about something else... and then went on to write a longgggggg note on my records about this whole event.
I was staggered, given that I am 6 weeks in to chemotherapy (and that's a whole load of nasty drugs that can screw your brain and body up with), and that I've had to cancer operations and radiotherapy. And that all this is in/on my notes. Did it not occur to Mr GP that I might actually know why my brain is "busy", that I am in control of myself and know why I want the pills and why/how I should use them. What I don't need is an inappropriate lecture about their evils and I sure as hell don't want to go the anti-depression route - and that certainly isn't appropriate at the moment given where I am up to...
I like to think I handled it in a mature and sensible manner, but it was a close run thing...!
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